You ever read or hear something so damn genius that you wish you’d have thought of it first? That’s how I feel about most everything Dr. Jordan Peterson says.
An author, clinical psychologist, and professor at University of Toronto, Dr. Jordan Peterson is a true sage of our time. He’s the insightful mentor every young person today needs.
In this insightful 5-minute video, Dr. Peterson breaks down the simple reason why you get panic stricken in social situations, how you ‘do’ social anxiety, and a few practices you can use to start connecting with people.
Here’s the main points behind Dr. Jordan Peterson’s social anxiety video:
The ‘Why’ Behind Your Weak Body Language: Think of the last time you felt a pretty severe case of social anxiety. Chances are great that you had relaxed your posture, hunched over, brought your shoulders forward, and held your head down, refusing to make eye contact. Sound about right?
Dr. Peterson says that’s you literally cowering in front of strangers in deference, much like a peasant would do to a king. Or these guys…
But, you could change things just by standing up straight. Harvard researcher Amy Cuddy found that strong, direct posture led to a temporary spike in testosterone (the confidence hormone).
Your Self-Talk Is Dangerous (and, well, selfish): The whole time you’re in the throes of a social anxiety fit, you’re probably mentally rehashing some shitty internal dialogue that you’ve been saying to yourself for years.
It goes a little something like this:
God, I’m so awkward. I have no friends. These people are just tolerating me. The girls here don’t like me. Fuck, did I just stutter again? That joke was really dumb. I should just shut up. What’s the point of being here? I’m just gonna go home and watch porn.”
Between your submissive body language and obsession with your self-talk, you’re taking yourself out of the Present Moment and only concerned with yourself. But, what’s the whole point of socializing? PAYING ATTENTION TO OTHER PEOPLE!
Which brings us to his final point…
The Answer To Social Anxiety Is In Your Eyes: When you’re only concerned with your internal anxiety and personal psychodrama, you aren’t focusing on the situation and people around you. You’re actually making the situation worse.
By shutting out the situation, you’re cutting your brain off from receiving new information. This exacerbates the anxiety and causes you to make inaccurate guesses about the people and their intentions. And, since you love negative self-talk, that’ll only make you more anxious because you think everyone hates you.
But, when you expand your focus from the nonsense inside yourself to the awesome situation outside yourself, you are opening yourself to new evidence that most people are kind, decent, and interested in talking to you…if only you’d say ‘Hello’.
It’s simple: Focus on your breath, make eye contact, smile, wait a beat…then connect. Rinse and repeat, bro. Do this enough and you’ll see your social anxiety fizzle out.
Got an idea for a video you want to see? Shoot me an e-mail (nakedcharisma-at-gmail-dot-com). And, make sure to follow the Naked Charisma YouTube channel – we’re gonna be releasing a lot more videos soon!
Peace & Charisma,
Dalton K. Finney