(This article technically applies to women, too. But, 83% of my visitors are men, so we get the special focus here, girls.)
This will probably be one of the few dating/pick-up articles I’ll ever write. Why?
Many of the skills you need to be successful in meeting women are the same skills that it takes to be a great conversationalist, a memorable public speaker, and an all-around dynamite guy.
There’s one very important idea you need to know about when it comes to meeting cool girls. It’s a distinction that I think most guys have forgotten about – to their detriment.
And, it’s all comes down to your stupid iPhone…
Dating apps like Tinder and Bumble make it criminally easy to meet women these days. A swipe right coupled with a few minutes of witty banter and – bam! – you’ve got a date for Thursday.
An ‘efficient dating life’ sounds nice, especially for us guys – we love everything optimized.
But, in matters of the heart and hedonism, men’s never-ending quest for efficiency can strangle the vital ‘how we met’ story. Great relationships, like any other good story, require a memorable beginning.
A memorable ‘how we met’ story is one that smacks of originality, courage, and curiosity.
They require you, the man, to take a risk. A risk that has no guarantee of a reward. There’s no sure thing here but it sure as hell is worth it.
It shows you’ve got balls and creativity – two things that women adore that are also in scarce supply from men these days.
In the wise words of my main man, the great storyteller & mythologist Joseph Campbell:
If you’re going to have a story, have a big story or none at all.”
Preach, Joe. Preach.
This makes you stand out against the chattering hordes of other dudes hitting on her. Your originality will give you staying power – a vital element in a competitive dating world (even if it’s just for one night).
The ability to score a few dates by just swiping right while you sit on the toilet at work is efficient – but it’s not memorable.
“What’s the solution?”, you ask.
Meet women during the day and at places that women aren’t normally hit on. By meeting her in a rare and unique way, you’re automatically more memorable.
Every woman gets hit on at the bar or ‘in da club’. But, most aren’t flirted with – well – anywhere else: bookstores, the train, a random street corner, Macy’s, the park and – my favorite – the grocery store. (I’ve met women and gotten dates from all of these places.)
Why does this work so well?
She knows that you have the balls to hit on her where it’s not socially acceptable to do so. You’re such a badass.
Most guys just awkwardly leer at attractive women in public places. Not you. You do something about it.
On top of this, picking her up during the day or in some off-beat place offers the average man much better chances of success.
Let’s say you meet her in a bar on Friday night…
She’s already been hit on 20 times (“Small Fish, Big Pond”). There’s loads of distractions for you to compete against. She might be drunk already. She’s out with a group and you have to compete with their schedule and familiarity.
And, the clincher…
She’s got her ‘game face’ on at the bar – she knows what you want and she’s likely to be more difficult and challenging than she would while out running errands.
Instead, let’s say you see her on Saturday afternoon at Whole Foods and you flirt with her…
You’ve got way better chances, you bad hombre.
There’s no competition from 20 other hungry dudes. She’s not in “club mode” and is probably much friendlier. She’s probably not all dolled up and you know what she actually looks like.
The opener is devilishly simple…
You approach her with a warm, playful attitude and just make some innocuous statement about what’s going on around you.
If I’m at the grocery store, I’ll just ask her what she’s making for dinner, what the occassion is, and playfully tease her by asking her “Can you even cook?” with a wink.
Chat about that for a bit, see if she’s open to you, and gradually ratchet it up from there. Playfully tease her or make a naughty joke or two.
If she’s laughing and staying with your energy after a few minutes, tell her you want to continue this over a drink or two and get. them. digits.
If she’s single and was enjoying your vibe, she’ll be interested in knowing more about what this charming, smirking fellow is all about.
And, then you’ll be all like…
It’s that easy, dudes.
Quick Note: If she’s not responding after two or three attempts, move on – there’s a thousand reasons why she’s not responding and you can’t control most of them. I promise. Just move on and find the next sweet lady you have to meet.
By all means, make your dating life work for you but don’t sacrifice being a memorable man on the alter of efficiency. Choose boldness, creativity, and curiosity. Grab your balls and take a risk – she’ll thank you for it.
Peace & Charisma,
Dalton K. Finney
P.S. Want to get some no-bullshit advice on stepping up your dating life? Check out my man Tripp over at TrippAdvice.com.